Letter to Sherlock
by detectivejigsaw
Summary: John writes a letter explaining to Sherlock why he acted the way he did when the detective came back from the dead; hopefully he'll never read it. The bold words are ones that are supposed to be crossed out, but I didn't know how to do that earlier. SHansen has written a reply letter, named (appropriately) "Letter to John". No slash.
1. Attempt at Detraction

**This is a story I have finally rearranged, after a long time of meaning to but never getting around to it. I feel like it would have helped their relationship if John had explained why exactly he was angry with Sherlock; he's brilliant, but the detective doesn't always understand social and emotional stuff. I also finally figured out how to cross out some of the words. SHansen has written a sequel to this, named, appropriately, "Letter to John," which I suggest that you read after this one. Enjoy!**

* * *

Dear Sherlock,

If you're reading this, STOP READING NOW. Quit going through my personal papers. It's none of your business. Just because this envelope (which was sealed, by the way, so if you opened this I'll know) has your name on it doesn't give you the right to peek at it. I'm not even sure how you got into it, unless you came over to my house and rooted through my stuff while I wasn't around or something. I mean it, Sherlock, get lost.

...You're still there, aren't you?

Yes, of course you are. You're not the type to stop getting involved in something when I tell you to. Let me just warn you, then, that I wrote this letter after I found out you were alive, and it is filled with (gasp) sentiment. If that doesn't get you to stop reading, nothing will.


	2. Main Letter

**The bold words are ones I tried to cross out, but the stupid doc system wouldn't let me. So just pretend they're crossed out.**

* * *

Dear Sherlock,

You're not dead. This is...incredible. I was sure I'd lost you for good. Even when I saw you standing over me at the restaurant, trying to be nonchalant about the whole bloody thing, I didn't quite believe it until I actually got my hands on you. Which, I'll admit, was not the best way to welcome a friend home. But since your way of approaching me wasn't the best way of admitting you were alive either, I guess that makes us even.

Mary says you didn't seem to really understand why I was still angry even after you apologized. Well, let me make it clear to you, if I can.

When I thought you were dead, it broke my heart. **Even though I'm not romantically interested in any way, shape or form, I love you**

I was able to keep going, and find some level of happiness again, but it was nowhere near the same without you. It was like an open wound that I kept suturing and trying to stitch, and that other people would help me with, but could never fully heal.

And then you showed up, out of the blue, acting like nothing had really happened. And even though you eventually were able to explain why it had happened, it hurt. Because you lied to me. Again. And used me. Again. And didn't trust me with the truth. Again.

Sherlock, I know you were trying to protect me, like I said friends are supposed to do. I know I'm not necessarily an actor, and you figured it was better to be safe than sorry, so you didn't tell me. I know if you hadn't jumped, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade and I would all have been shot. But that doesn't alter the fact that you put me through two years of hell without once letting me know the truth, and then sprang it on me like a magic trick, and expected me to clap and smile. It hurts. A lot.

It helps to see that you are genuinely sorry (as best I can judge). I remind myself that you're back, and that's what counts. And it definitely helps that you agreed to be my best man. But I'm still working on getting rid of the hurt. And, admittedly, I'm making excellent progress. Already I'm almost able to look at you without wanting to hug and strangle you at the same time. If you are reading this, please try not to mock me. And if you talk about this in public, I will strangle you, best friend or not.

**Love**

**Sincerely**

**Your friend**

**In deepest friendship**

John


	3. PS

P.S. I really am grateful to you for being willing to pretend to die for me. Thank you. And if I'd known about the injuries to your back, I would never have attacked you. I'm sorry.


End file.
